added some dummy files; changed privacy email to piracy
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RewriteEngine On
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# -------------------------------------------
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# 1. Rewrite /blog/<ID> to /blog.php?id=<ID>
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# Rewrite /blog/<ID> to /blog.php?id=<ID>
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# -------------------------------------------
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RewriteRule ^blog/([^/]+)/?$ /blog.php?id=$1 [L,QSA]
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# -------------------------------------------
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# Rewrite /sitemap.xml to /blog.php?id=<ID>
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# -------------------------------------------
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RewriteRule ^sitemap\.xml$ /sitemap.php
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# -------------------------------------------
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# Rewrite some dummy urls to some funny af
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# shit
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# -------------------------------------------
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RewriteRule ^(wp-admin|wp-login|cms-admin).*$ /dummy/wp-login.html
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RewriteRule ^.*?wp-config\.php$ /dummy/wp-config.php.txt
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RewriteRule ^.*?profile\.php$ /dummy/profile.php.txt
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RewriteRule ^.*?phpinfo\.php$ /dummy/phpinfo.php.html
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RewriteRule ^\..*?\.json$ /dummy/sftp-login.json
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RewriteRule ^.*?\.env$ /dummy/.env
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RewriteRule ^(typo|admin|login|dashboard).*$ /dummy/kaffee.php
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# ----------------------------------------------------
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# 2. Rewrite /lib/* or /blog/* to /error.php?code=404
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# Rewrite /lib/* or /blog/* to /error.php?code=404
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# with 404 response code (internal rewriting)
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# ----------------------------------------------------
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RewriteCond %{REQUEST_URI} ^/(lib|blog)(/.*)?$
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RewriteCond %{REQUEST_URI} ^/(lib|blog|dummy)(/.*)?$
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RewriteRule ^ - [R=404,L]
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ErrorDocument 404 /error.php?code=404
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# ----------------------------------------------------
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# 3. Custom error handler for all other errors
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# Custom error handler for all other errors
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# Sends proper status code to client
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# ----------------------------------------------------
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ErrorDocument 400 /error.php?code=400
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34
www/dummy/.env
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34
www/dummy/.env
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# Ode to a Missing .env
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APP_NAME="Ode to the .env"
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AUTHOR="You, crying in the terminal"
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VERSION="1.0"
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# Opening verse
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LINE1="Where's the file that holds my secrets?"
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LINE2="Gone like mist before the day."
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LINE3="Now my app just crashes, speechless,"
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LINE4="Throwing errors in dismay."
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# Second verse
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LINE5="DB_HOST is undefined, friend,"
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LINE6="PORT is null and void and cold."
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LINE7="Was it gitignored to the end?"
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LINE8="Was it lost, or just too bold?"
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# Third verse
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LINE9="API keys now floating yonder,"
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LINE10="Tokens scattered in the void."
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LINE11="While I sit here, forced to ponder,"
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LINE12="Why good configs are destroyed."
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# Final verse
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LINE13="So I pray to env salvation,"
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LINE14="Guide me to that sacred file."
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LINE15="Till then, in pure configuration,"
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LINE16="Let me debug with some style."
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# The real tragedy
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OPENAI_API_KEY="who_needs_AI_when_you_have_pain"
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# Moral of the story
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PROTIP="Commit the example, not the pain 😭"
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5
www/dummy/kaffee.php
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5
www/dummy/kaffee.php
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<?php
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http_response_code(302);
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header('Location: https://youtu.be/5EsEJRXlrGk?autoplay=1&fs=1');
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exit;
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2948
www/dummy/phpinfo.php.html
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2948
www/dummy/phpinfo.php.html
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File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
13
www/dummy/profile.php.txt
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www/dummy/profile.php.txt
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<?php
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// profile.php
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// Attempting to load profile data...
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$user = getUserData();
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if (!$user) {
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throw new Exception("Profile not found.");
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}
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// 😢 Oops... Looks like profile.php forgot to profile itself.
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// Maybe it went out to find itself.
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// Or maybe it was never real to begin with.
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44
www/dummy/sftp-login.json
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www/dummy/sftp-login.json
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{
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"title": "Ode to Credentials",
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"author": "Parody of Schiller",
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"language": "English",
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"protocol": "sftp",
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"host": "nope.not.a.real.server",
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"port": 22,
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"username": "admin_but_not_really",
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"privateKey": "-----BEGIN FAKE KEY-----\nthisisnotarealkeylol\n-----END FAKE KEY-----",
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"passphrase": "tryHarder123!",
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"retryAttempts": 42,
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"timeout": 9001,
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"backup": false,
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"mood": "desperate",
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"lastSeen": "sometime-before-it-mattered",
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"favoriteSnack": "RAM chips",
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"debugLevel": "emotional",
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"stanzas": [
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[
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"Joyless, broken, code forsaken,",
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"Server dreams now out of view,",
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"SFTP has left me shaken,",
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"Where’s the login? Where are you?"
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],
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[
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"Hosts I’ve pinged, and ports I’ve queried,",
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"But the key I seek is gone;",
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"All my scripts are old and weary,",
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"They just fail and won’t move on."
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],
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[
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"Was it saved in notes forgotten?",
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"Was it once on sticky tape?",
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"Maybe in a doc long rotten,",
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"Buried deep and lost to fate?"
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],
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[
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"O credentials, source of power,",
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"Come and grant my code a sign!",
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"Else I’ll spend another hour,",
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"Crying to the debug line."
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]
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]
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}
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21
www/dummy/wp-config.php.txt
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21
www/dummy/wp-config.php.txt
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<?php
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// wp-config.php
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// This file is supposed to contain the magic.
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// Instead... it contains disappointment.
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define('DB_NAME', ''); // Ah yes, the void. Classic.
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define('DB_USER', ''); // Who needs users anyway?
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define('DB_PASSWORD', ''); // Security through obscurity. And also forgetfulness.
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define('DB_HOST', 'localhost');
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define('DB_CHARSET', 'utf8');
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// Error: wp-config.php not found... emotionally or physically.
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// Perhaps it ran away during deployment.
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// Perhaps it was never created at all.
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// One thing's certain: WordPress is confused and so are you.
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// Solution?
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// Step 1: scream internally
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// Step 2: create a new wp-config.php
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// Step 3: try turning it off and on again
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4453
www/dummy/wp-login.html
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4453
www/dummy/wp-login.html
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File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
@ -129,7 +129,7 @@
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<h2>Verantwortliche Stelle</h2>
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<p>Ludwig Lehnert<br>Zedernstr. 41<br>90441 Nürnberg<br>E-Mail: <a
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href="mailto:privacy@lehnert.dev">privacy@lehnert.dev</a></p>
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href="mailto:piracy@lehnert.dev">piracy@lehnert.dev</a></p>
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<h2>Erhobene Daten</h2>
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<p>Diese Website erhebt keine personenbezogenen Daten über Formulare oder Tracking-Dienste. Es werden keine
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@ -158,7 +158,7 @@
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<h2>Controller</h2>
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<p>Ludwig Lehnert<br>Zedernstr. 41<br>90441 Nuremberg, Germany<br>Email: <a
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href="mailto:privacy@lehnert.dev">privacy@lehnert.dev</a></p>
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href="mailto:piracy@lehnert.dev">piracy@lehnert.dev</a></p>
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<h2>Data Collected</h2>
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<p>This website does not collect personal data via forms or third-party tracking tools. No cookies or analytics
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wp-admin
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